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Jokes Forum Looking for a laugh and a giggle ? Post your jokes and gags here. Please add *Adult* to the subject title if the joke is of an adult nature. Anything obscene will be removed immediately.

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Old August 22nd, 2006, 11:18 PM
squiffy2's Avatar
squiffy2 squiffy2 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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Smile Edinburgh Festival Jokes

My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night. ~ Susan Murray at the Underbelly


Q: Who are the most decent people in the hospital?
A: The ultrasound people. ~ David O'Doherty at the Gilded Balloon

I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat. ~ Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms


My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. ~ Jimmy Carr at the ICC

The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went into Boots and punched someone in the face. ~Jeremy Limb, at the Trap

Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax. ~ Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance


Walking down Princes Street, soaking up the atmosphere, I saw a big sign that said: "Bus tours, ten quid." So I thought I'd give it a try... What a rip off. Ten quid to have a look round a bus! ~ Seymour Mace at Café Royal

I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I've already got one!" ~ Norman Lovett at The Stand
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