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Jokes Forum Looking for a laugh and a giggle ? Post your jokes and gags here. Please add *Adult* to the subject title if the joke is of an adult nature. Anything obscene will be removed immediately.

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  #1  
Old July 5th, 2006, 04:40 PM
squiffy2's Avatar
squiffy2 squiffy2 is offline
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Cool Worst nightmare

I am your worst nightmare. I am a BAD American.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some
mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants
to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne,
Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do
it in English.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for
unpopular opinions or actions.

I think fireworks should be legal on the Fourth of July.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlighten-
ment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are
footing the bill to put your pansy ass through four to seven years
of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.

My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr.
Quinn, Medicine Woman.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing
about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts
now, when I am freezing my ass through a long winter?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty
years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't
burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither
have you, so shut the f#?%!-up already!

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
Jackson preaches. And where does he get his money? And why is
he always part of the problem and not the solution?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if
you're running from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are
breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't
want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation
the world for the next four years.

I hate those idiots standing in the intersections trying to sell
me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their
cause. These people should be targets.

I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your
license should be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the
bus until you promise to never delay the rest of us again.

I think beef jerky could quite possibly be the perfect food.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it
takes two parents.

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please
don't pretend they are political statements.

I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately
the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

If that makes me a BAD American, then yes -- I'm a BAD American.
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  #2  
Old July 5th, 2006, 06:33 PM
black mirror black mirror is offline
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  #3  
Old July 5th, 2006, 06:54 PM
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jililan jililan is offline
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Right on.
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  #4  
Old July 5th, 2006, 07:28 PM
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Archangel122184 Archangel122184 is offline
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Posts: 1,486
I don't think its funny... its aboslutely true (minus the college thing).
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  #5  
Old July 12th, 2006, 02:59 AM
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hpTunes hpTunes is offline
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How Does this make you a bad amercan? I think it makes you a smart person, but hey, dont attack me for my beliefs.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if
you're running from them.

I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you are
breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I dont get why those are bad...

Some are ok....
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  #6  
Old July 12th, 2006, 04:13 AM
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zipulrich zipulrich is offline
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Posts: 8,985
hpTunes - this is the Jokes Forum. See up there?? ^^
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  #7  
Old July 12th, 2006, 06:36 AM
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hpTunes hpTunes is offline
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Posts: 157
I would have said it was funny if it was a funny 'joke', but, its not funny.
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