Men vs Women (women win)

[errolo]

WOMANS PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.


WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled
for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always
carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with
me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair
out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.


MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to
the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He
addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"


WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had
led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard
of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife
replied, "in-laws."


W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...30,000 to a man's
15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the
same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be
attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"


WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife
said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our
coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because
that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and
besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe
that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of
several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an
early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he
wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of
paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.


God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

[NealM]

[Amandajane]

Funny - the one about the coffee is hilarious, made me laugh out loud

[PurestLight]

.....next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an
early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

[da_moma]

Awesome!