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Jokes Forum Looking for a laugh and a giggle ? Post your jokes and gags here. Please add *Adult* to the subject title if the joke is of an adult nature. Anything obscene will be removed immediately.

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  #1  
Old September 14th, 2014, 01:13 AM
Ned Seagoon's Avatar
Ned Seagoon Ned Seagoon is offline
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Aboriginal Tracker

Disclaimer

1) The following joke may offend those of a more sensitive nature, if you are such a person stop reading now.

2) Australian Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders are warned that the following may make mention of deceased persons.

3) Children are advised that they should have their parents approval to read this joke. Homework comes before jokes


An Australian tour guide was showing a group of American tourists the Top End. On their way to Kakadu he was describing the abilities of the Australian Aborigine to track man or beast over land, through the air, under the sea. The Americans were incredulous.

Then later in the day, the tour rounded a bend on the highway and discovered, lying in the middle of the road, an Aborigine. He had one ear pressed to the white line whilst his left leg was held high in the air. The tour stopped and the guide and the tourists gathered around the prostrate Aborigine.

“Jacky,” said the tour guide, “what are you tracking and what are you listening for?”

The aborigine replied, “Down the road about 30km is a 1971 Valiant ute. It’s red. The left front tyre is bald. The front end is out of whack and it has dents in every panel. There are 9 fellows in the back, all drinking warm sherry. There are 3 kangaroos on the roof rack and 6 dogs on the front seat.”

The American tourists moved forward, astounded by this precise and detailed knowledge.

“Goddammit man, how do you know all that?” asked one.

The Aborigine replied,” I fell out of the bloody thing about half an hour ago.”
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  #2  
Old September 14th, 2014, 05:59 AM
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Jaytee Jaytee is offline
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I remember that bloody trip....
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  #3  
Old September 19th, 2014, 11:47 PM
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Jintan Jintan is offline
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[QUOTE=Ned Seagoon;1274888]Disclaimer

1) The following joke may offend those of a more sensitive nature, if you are such a person stop reading now.

2) Australian Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders are warned that the following may make mention of deceased persons.

3) Children are advised that they should have their parents approval to read this joke. Homework comes before jokes


Walking on egg shells, are we?
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  #4  
Old November 19th, 2018, 08:36 AM
Mangoos Mangoos is offline
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Yeah it's gorgeous
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  #5  
Old November 19th, 2018, 02:21 PM
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Ned Seagoon Ned Seagoon is offline
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I don't know about this Raking up old threads, it's a bit like Raking up leaves from the forest floor - a bit of a waste of time. No one with any brains would ever suggest doing that.
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Old December 14th, 2018, 03:57 PM
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By any chance Neddie is that a slight about the leader of the free world?
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  #7  
Old December 17th, 2018, 04:56 AM
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Ned Seagoon Ned Seagoon is offline
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I couldn't possibly say.
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