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Old March 25th, 2021, 05:18 PM
Total Noob Total Noob is offline
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Has #MeToo gone too far?

For those outside the US, New York Gov Andrew Cuomo has been accused by numerous women of a range of misogynistic behaviors ranging from grabbing/touching to ogling to flirting. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew...nt_allegations

Cuomo is single; he broke up with his long time partner Sandra Lee quite a while ago. He has been asked to resign.

I'm as supportive of the #MeToo movement as anyone, and I get it that women are entitled to equal rights in the workplace and everywhere else. And I am pragmatic enough to realize it is hard to put a firm definition on what is or can be creepy behavior, so rules have to be a little vague if not ambiguous.

But when you look through some of the allegations leveled at him that have been taken seriously, what jumps out is that there seems to be nothing firm at the bottom of what can get someone in trouble.

The allegation by Valerie Bauman is
Cuomo allegedly also made her uncomfortable with unwanted flirting and eye contact. She also claimed that in 2007, upon meeting her, "He took my hand, entered my personal space and looked into my eyes as he announced, 'Hello, I’m Andrew Cuomo'".
The allegation by Alyssa McGrath is
Cuomo chronically ogled female aides like herself, commenting about their appearances in a way McGrath found inappropriate
The allegation of Charlotte Bennett is
accused him of sexual harassment, which included questions about her sex life. In a March 5 video interview with CBS Evening News anchor Norah O'Donnell, Bennett said that during a one-on-one meeting in the governor's office on June 5, 2020, Cuomo implied "that I was old enough for him and he was lonely."
To be sure, other women are claiming unwanted touching, and that seems to be pretty clearly over any line you may want to draw. Asking a colleague male or female about their sex lives and being on the hunt for a mate within the workplace on company time also seems to me to be unprofessional and immoral.

But pragmatically, we really do still live in a world in which appearance is so critical that women spend tens of billions of dollars on cosmetics, apparel, accessories, gyms and fitness classes, diets and diet aids, cookbooks, grooming, shampoo, hair extensions, depilatories, manicures, moisturizers, wrinkle creams, plastic surgery, colognes, jewelry, Botox, tanning beds, and so forth, and then spend hours working with all that stuff, and then typically fish for compliments to validate the cost, time and energy it takes to look good.

All of which leaves a man whipsawed because if he averts his eyes to avoid a charge of "ogling" (which has no minimum time standard) then he is guilty of not taking a female worker seriously. If he speaks to her about her appearance, he is perv; if he ignores the effort, he is an insensitive clod.

If he tries small talk by speaking to a woman about something besides her specific duties, it is "unwanted flirting," but if he ignores other topics like his golf games or his kids or what was on the boob tube as he would with male workers, he is leaving the women underlings "out of the loop" and in a "toxic work environment."

There aren't a lot of answers here. If the rules were hard and fast, there would still be creeps working the edges.

To a certain extent, women need to roll with the punches especially if they work for or with alphas. Not every comment or move is a first effort to shag and/or demean them.

Men need to learn that they can't behave like monkeys and that some moves will be misconstrued so they ought to think first before assuming their behavior is cute and harmless.

But there's also no burning necessity for a place of business to maintain a PG rating either. If you can say it to a male colleague, you should be able to say it to a female colleague, or that's discrimination.

But none of us can live with vague politicized standards that aren't quite up to being rules especially if jobs (and divorces) hang in the balance.

Last edited by Total Noob; March 25th, 2021 at 10:34 PM.
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Old March 25th, 2021, 08:28 PM
lufbra lufbra is offline
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Just ask yourself about what happened to the allegations made against Donald Trump, I think you'll find your answer there.
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