[Ned Seagoon]

John rents a new apartment. One day he goes to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes dressed in a robe.

John smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open and it’s quite obvious that she has nothing on under the robe.

Poor John breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, “Wait, let’s go to my apartment, I hear someone coming…”

He proceeds with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Being completely nude, she purrs at him, “What would you say is my best feature?”

The flustered, embarrassed John stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, “Oh, it’s got to be your ears!”

She’s astounded! “Why my ears? Look at these breasts! They’re full, don’t sag, and they’re 100% natural! My buns – they’re firm and don’t sag, and I have no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes or scars! Why in heaven’s name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?!”

Clearing his throat once again, John stammers – “Outside when you said you heard someone coming – that was me.”