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Search: Posts Made By: Ned Seagoon
Forum: Jokes Forum February 2nd, 2020, 02:46 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
https://i.postimg.cc/cJvX6PQx/Corona-virus.jpg

https://i.postimg.cc/cJvX6PQx/Corona-virus.jpg
Forum: Jokes Forum November 28th, 2019, 11:03 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
Ever wonder about those people who say they are...

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over
100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up...
Forum: Jokes Forum January 6th, 2019, 04:53 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was...

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.


They charged one - and let the other off.
Forum: Jokes Forum December 6th, 2018, 01:01 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
Wonder if it works here? [URL=political stuff -...

Wonder if it works here?
[URL=political stuff - non-joke[/URL]
Forum: Jokes Forum December 3rd, 2018, 09:55 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
A man was walking down the street when he was...

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet,...
Forum: Jokes Forum October 28th, 2018, 03:43 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
MARIJUANA & GAY MARRIAGE For those who...

MARIJUANA & GAY MARRIAGE

For those who haven't heard, Washington State just passed two laws - legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana.

The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were...
Forum: Jokes Forum October 10th, 2018, 01:12 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
An Englishman's View of Australia! The...

An Englishman's View of Australia!
The following has been written by the late Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame.

"Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large...
Forum: Jokes Forum September 26th, 2018, 10:57 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
On the first day after his divorce, he sadly...

On the first day after his divorce, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he...
Forum: Jokes Forum September 18th, 2018, 02:24 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
A few one liners. 1. I never knew what...

A few one liners.


1. I never knew what true happiness was until I married and by then it was too late

2. Adam & Eve were the first people not to read the Apple terms and conditions
...
Forum: Jokes Forum September 16th, 2018, 10:40 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
An Australian Poem (warning contains some...

An Australian Poem (warning contains some Australian slang)


The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock
The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
He drove around the...
Forum: Jokes Forum August 28th, 2018, 10:58 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
Wife Missing? The first thing a husband...

Wife Missing?

The first thing a husband should do.......CALL THE SHERIFF!!!



Husband: My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height...
Forum: Jokes Forum August 25th, 2018, 09:43 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft,...

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1...For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.

2......
Forum: Jokes Forum August 23rd, 2018, 02:51 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
A man from Texas , driving a Volkswagen Beetle,...

A man from Texas , driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that...
Forum: Jokes Forum August 17th, 2018, 04:20 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
A cab driver picks up a beautiful nun. He won't...

A cab driver picks up a beautiful nun. He won't stop staring at her. She asks what's wrong. She says he can tell her anything.

He says he's sorry, but he's always had fantasies about nuns - wanted...
Forum: Jokes Forum August 8th, 2018, 04:18 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
His request approved, the CNN News photographer...

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport....
Forum: Jokes Forum August 4th, 2018, 06:35 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
A lesson on how consultants can make a difference...

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organisation.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant. After being seated the first thing we noticed was that the waiter who...
Forum: Jokes Forum July 17th, 2018, 09:49 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
After Nigeria was eliminated from the World Cup,...

After Nigeria was eliminated from the World Cup, the Nigerian goalkeeper personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans who had travelled to Russia.
He said he just needs their bank...
Forum: Jokes Forum June 29th, 2018, 06:35 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a...

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always
had a fear of someone under my bed at night.
So I went to a shrink and told him: " I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think
there's somebody under...
Forum: Jokes Forum June 29th, 2018, 03:34 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,117
Posted By Ned Seagoon
Found on the Refrigerator One Morning : My...

Found on the Refrigerator One Morning :

My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54
years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I...
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